Sometimes simplicity is the toughest part

Life is tough
When there is a quarrel inside
Heart says forgive
Mind says just leave
I wish there were only mind
How easy that would be
Living through thinking
Maybe it is the right way
No feeling any way
Cause what's the point of love
When you miss
But cannot say
Even these simple things

The Sun, the Sea and the Tears

A mild breeze coming from the sea
Feeling the fresh air
And the sun on my face
Dreaming the coldness of the waves
All over me
What a relief
For the wounds in my heart
After hearing death cold words
With their steel spear heads
Cutting through all my being
Leaving me with a hole
In my soul

killing an innocent love

Here we go again
Using words
As the doors
Of my deepest down
Ah there is a well
Down there
My will denies
Its existence
Cause it's not easy
To accept the reality
Ego wants to protect itself
Otherwise cannot survive
That well in my deepest down
Is a black box
Keeping every detail
Of a suffering soul
It once had a picture
With a bright sun
In a blue sky
A warming breeze
On green plains
Children are playing
Happy and running
Laughing and shouting
It was the picture of
Pure happiness
The black box
Was beaming outside
But the real world
Was not that shiny
The hands of darkness
Grabbed the box
Threw it into
The hell of prejudices
The innocent soul
Burnt amongst
The coldness of
Heartless, soulless, mindless
Army of letters
Damage has been done
Innocent love is gone
Killed by "the one"
The box down there
Is sealed
For there is no strength
 Left to move on
Now it's time 
To act like
Life is perfect
Complete my tasks
To be "the best"
Only one question
Is left to be asked
"Why God why
If we weren't meant to be
Why the hell did you
Put me in this loveless
Real hell of loneliness?"

the very first poem of my life time

Oh life, you are a sweet bitch,
The moment I think I've lost 
And I'm lost
Handing me a sparkle of joy
In a look from a deeper soul
With a safe cuddle
Feels like home
Then understand there's heaven
Not above the sky
But here
In a beautiful mind

learning how to rhyme takes some time

Our hungry souls
Trying to feed on poems,
Quotes,philosophies
Searching for peace and happiness
Amongst the mountain high
Ocean deep literature and science
Our minds are pushing us, saying
"Go forward, grab the essence of life"
Cresting the summit with pride
Giving a gaze down to the skirts
A small but shiny place
Lightened with the rays
From the brightest star
Smiles and says
"I am the heart of your soul mate
Waiting and hoping you to see me
It took a long time to look down
Yet it was the only way
For you to understand
That the happiness lies
In the knowledge of
How to rhyme with me"

An enviromentalist poem

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I am glad
This is the way
We were popped out
Thinking about
A piece of peace
I can give to the Universe
When I turn into dust and ashes
The love in me
Becomes a part of
This whole universal energy
Although it is not accepted
During my lifetime
It is gonna feed the freedom
Of the oceans, land and air
Clean the filth of the world
Through love,hope and faith
Shaping my very core
I will have the chance
To salute the Creator
And pay my debt
For the gifts
I've been blessed with

a lesson from my life

The way we interpret things around us is what makes us a decent human being or an evil human being since this very subjective interpretation determines the way we treat people. Of course, this ourselves-specific way of interpretation does not appear out of nowhere. On the contrary, it strictly sticks with the codes of ethics each and every person has. Sadly, it is not an easy thing to stick with your codes all the time due to the fact that people are not fair and most of them do not treat you the way you deserve although you do every good thing you can for betterment.

Last summer was hell for me, not only because of very hot and moist weather, but also because of the deception and betrayal I experienced by the people once I really loved. There were self-interest oriented incredibly low and ugly lies around me. It took me some time to wake up, and then I needed to struggle with this so intensive anger inside. I was like Hulk, you know giant green man destroying everything before him when he gets really angry. I guess, that Hulk part is a genuine part of me, but most of the time it is under control. I did not know what to do for some time, you know why, because my principles told me not to lower myself and trust the way universe works, which is "God sees the truth, but he waits". Well, it was not easy to calm down, so I got drunk a lot. However, something miraculous happened, and I found a way to express my feelings: poems. Up to that point in my life, I had never ever thought that I could write poems. In fact, I had always described myself as "facts and figures woman". The events, the people got shaped in my mind as mental pictures, and then through words I depicted that mental picture on paper. That evil did me a favour and forced me to find a way out, my poems. I took my lesson: do not be so naive, protect yourself. And my award is the poems I am proud of. They are amateur kind of poems, but my creations.

If you interpret the following poem with the feelings you have when you experience deception and betrayal, I am sure you will find a piece of your life in it. Hope you like it.

What's the unique quality
Of human beings
Making us the kings of the world
Is it the mind
Or the soul
Or the conscience
I suppose all
Yet there is one thing
Last but not least
It is the heart brother, sister
The land of love and mercy
Anger, hatred are the harvest
Of bitter cold winter winds
Cracking the land
With betrayal and deception
But keep the faith mate
Sooner or later
The goodness in your heart
Finds a way out
For brighter days
As for the cracking cold winds
They only freeze their kings

the heart and the mind

Since Goleman's very popular book "Emotional Intelligence", the two separate domain "emotions" and "reason" have been considered as a whole, at the least there has been a tendency amongst some scholars. I would like to discuss the intertwined but unclear area of emotions and reason. In other words the heart and the mind. For centuries, emotional people were seen as weak, incapable of coping with difficulties, and needy for surviving. On the other hand, people with a rigid reason without any affection were valued as great minds of their time. Surely they did some contribution to their time in someways, however their rigid attitude caused unhappiness amongst soft hearted people with high power of understanding emotions. Just think about it for a minute: Do you think Galileo would have suffered that much if one of the Inquisition members had the ability to see his ambition for telling the truth and symphatised with him instead of being too rational blind and for the sake of being so-called consistent in the name of Church (or their own positions )? Galileo, Darwin and Freud had the courage to tell the world that they were wrong. To accept their standpoint took some time, but since "the truth is out there", there was no choice but see it. Humankind have lost hundred of years just because of this stubbornness for not seeing the truth, not listening to valuable minds filled with excitement, ambition, not forcing ourselves for a chance to change. And the irony is, stubbornness was and still is an emotional attitude while pure reason and rationality described with fixed rules blamed emotions for the weakness and troubles of humankind.

Let's think about our personal lives. How many times have we got stuck between our emotions and reason? In order to survive, we sacrifice the very core aim of living, which is happiness due to the fact that we think and are taught that listening, understanding, showing, thinking our emotions make us weak and unsuccessful. We live in a kind of matrix, you know the movie, outside impulses turn our brains on and we dream of appreciation, admiration, huge success, and then the illusion of fake happiness out of success fills even our tiny veins, then we set our target and go for it. How many of us have sacrificed our loves for careers, think about it. We have become so selfish that we do not want to move a finger for a true relationship. We want everything around our plans. "There is a cultural barrier between us, sorry, I want someone like me, also my family wants me to do so." At the least, be respectful, and tell the truth like "I do not love you enough, and I want everything suitable to me." Or, "You know, there are miles between us, and I want somebody next to me. I am a human, I need certain needs, plus travelling costs a lot." Again, the irony lies in the logic. In order to feel easy-happiness, we use the reason because evaluating our emotions make us realize that we live, in fact, in an illusion called "being pure rational".

Then, what's the solution? The answer might be a bit far, but we had better start with a baby step. Sparing some time for ourselves and doing some amateur introspection would be a good start. In other words, just travel without moving in our deepest inside where memories are kept and give direction to us invisibly. Reason is necessary but only after understanding our true emotions since understanding the true nature of something is the very first basic step of reasoning.